The mask of HIS countenance...

I am so grateful that God blesses us with children. I am also grateful that he believes that we will make good decisions while raising them. It's not always easy, but he trusts us.
One of the decisions that Mike and I have made is to try to be 100% honest in everything that we do. Which, in our house, means that Santa does not bring presents, and the Easter bunny does not leave the eggs. Mommy does. It's a decision that we feel necessary for us..(don't give me slack, I have had TOO MUCH slack as it is.. I won't judge you, please don't judge me)
Having said that, we have already had to sit down with Hannah and explain to her that, although we may not participate in some rituals, lots of children do, so we better be very careful as to what we say. (Not like the little guy in my Sunday school class who told the class that Santa was dead...I almost died myself when he said it..!!) Poor Tori Maracle thought her life was over..."Is he REALLY dead Amy?? OH NO NOT SANTA!!"

Today, we were able to retrieve Mike's motorcycle from storage. It's always a welcome day when he can dust off the machine and let all his cares and worrys blow in the wind. We had the little guy next door with us. (He has become my second son I think) On the way back home, we were driving ahead of Mike, and Hannah jokingly said (I'm not sure why..you never know what kids are thinking of..)
"Don't worry mama, daddy will catch up to us. He has his magic hat on." (??)
A few moments later, Hannah asks me to slow down.
"But I'm not speeding honey."
"But daddy isn't coming, and he needs you to go slower."
Just then a hear a squeak from the back... it's David, the neighbour..
"Hannah..he's going to catch up to us. He has his majic hat on"
"Oh David" Hannah sighs "Majic isn't real. It's alushon. (she meant illusion) He CAN"T have a majic hat."
"yes it is.."
"Mahic Nah Wheel.." The 2 year old decided we needed his two cents worth as well..
So then the "yes it is's" and the "no it's not's" start...
"GUYS" I say.
"Well I'm donatella" (the ninja turtle) David barks.
"No you are not!" Hannah replys
"yes I am."
" David..you are not. You are not a donatella...and you are NOT a turtle." Hannah whines
"Yes I AM!"
"GUYS" I am ready to stop the car for the bickering. "Stop fighting please."
"But MOM...He isn't a turtle.."
"Well I am when I get home. I put my mask on..and that makes me a ninja turtle.."
I chuckled. I made a mental note to speak with Hannah when we were alone. It sure is hard to learn what and what not to say...
Later on this afternoon, I was pondering the conversation. Was it possible to be too literal? It sure was okay to pretend....that's one of the ways we increase our imagination...
And then I imagined it, a broken, shattered me, human, sinful in nature....so many days where people would tell me I wasn't what I "thought" I was... I wasn't "really" that.. but I knew, in my heart, that once I had the "mask" on,(a mask I NEVER want to take off..) the countenance of HIM, that I was (AM!) anything he told me I could be. I couldn't be that on my own, but with HIS help, and his white garments, I could be all of what I thought..and much more.
I am so thankful for a God who allows us to make mistakes, to be too literal, to lose faith in ourselves, but remind us, daily, that by outfitting ourselves in him...we can be and do anything. Anything that he has planned for us.

Gratitude Saturday....

Okay Hollster...You've started it and Cheryl has seconded (lol..new word!!) the motion...Here I am in third...

Today I am thankful for..

My daddy... he sanded Isaiah's new room ALL day today..so that we can have it ready for him to move into since the new baby is taking his "room"

My hubby... he worked ALL day today so that we could buy Hannah a new bed (WOAH...those things are expensive!!) seeing as Isaiah will be taking hers..and the baby will be taking his crib. (not to mention all the other junk that goes along with building a new bedroom...the list is SOOO long)

Myself... lol.. I managed to launder and fold (8 loads!) the winter stuff (organize what goes where and to who), clean out my makeup bag (lots of giveaways..if anyones interested!!) and paint Isaiah's dresser.

Thanks Holly for letting us remember the good things the Lord does for us and the good people the Lord blesses us with..

Leave the rest to God....

Mike sent me this email today...Thought the verse was nice, but the picture is amazing...

Isn't God GREAT???!!!!


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed
to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken
probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts
too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with
your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose
someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love
like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

"I always thank my God...

I woke up feeling blessed.
My shifts for the week keep getting altered. It's wonderful. Lol. Today I was not needed until 10:00 am. Blessing. I went to the store to get some pullups and recieved a free lipstick. Blessing. (not my colour..but..still) Picked up my kids at moms and dinner was waiting for me. Blessing. Getting an easter cream mcflurry when Mike comes home (hopefully thats soon!) Blessing. Being able to hear one of my favourite broadcasts on the radio. (it came on during my drive to work) Blessing. Having my brother come over to mud Isaiah's new room. Blessing.
LOTS OF BLESSINGS...
The radio show that I love, and was able to hear this morning, is called Walk in the Word. He was speaking on the book Philemon. Here, Paul, a man in prison, writing a letter to a newer christian (about another new christian that was once his slave who ran away from him b/c he was an awful "master), and he starts his letter describing his thanks.
Then Dr. M states that he believes "thankfullness is a choice."
I stopped listening then..my mind starting wandering. Was it a choice for me? hmmmm...

Some mornings you will find me laying on the bathroom floor after my morning session with big T (my toilet) weeping like a baby (because of a baby)
but most days you will find me wiping off my mouth, brushing my teeth and thanking God that I can carry children. (some woman can't)

Some nights you will find me at 1:00 am sitting bright eyed on my couch with the phone in my hand, weeping like a baby (because of a baby) wondering why Mike hasn't cleared his "situation" (from work) with me,
but most nights you can find me peacefully sleeping, or reading, or watching tele, thanking God that he takes care of my hubby when he is in dangers way.

Some mornings you may find me rushing around the house, yelling at my children to HURRY UP, weeping like a baby (because of a baby) knowing that I have to go to that dreaded work place,
but most mornings you will find me kissing sleepy heads goodbye thanking God that I have a flexible boss and co-workers who really aren't that bad.

Some nights you may find me kicking the existance out of the growing piles of dirty clothes on my basement floor, weeping like a baby (because of a baby)
but most nights you will find me smiling with thankfullness knowing I have water to wash the clothes, money to buy soap for them, and my very own machines...no lugging to a laundry mat.

And the list could go on...

So is thankfullness a choice for me?
You bet it is. Daily. Hourly. Some days every minute.
But it's a choice I'm willing to make. A choice to be thankful. Thankful for all things.
And now that my mcflurrys in my belly...
I go to bed feeling blessed.

With child...

If you haven't yet read Jen's newest blog...you must go and read it NOW. It's beautiful. It got me thinking. (Which is a welcome idea with 2 younguns running around..lol)
Woman can naturally relate to any description of childbirth. It's something that the majority have done, or will do. Although we all have unique stories, they are all real, and very vivid in our mind. Obviously, in my state, it is very real to me... it won't be long until I end up in the delivery room myself (or an ambulance, or maybe even Walmart...) to birth another child.
What I have recently been pondering on is the wonders that God allows while we are carrying the child.... aside from all of the pains, and aches..the puking and nausea..the growing and tenderness... there is another, totally different side to "pregnancy".
During each of my ultrasounds (with 3 different babies) the technician remarked how very active and stubborn each was (funny, b/c the current 2 are very different from each other..) yet in my womb, they were all similar. Some nights as I lay in bed, when the quietness comes, I can feel legs just a givin' er and arms a flailin'. It's absolutely amazing... And I remember how remarkable pregnancy is. The forming of different body parts and organs at specific times.. then once all is formed, there is still a period of growth, a period where all has to be set in place, a bit more fat or a bit more hair... a little bit of something.
And then, in HIS timing, the birth.
But before all of "that" happens, there is a glorious miracle taking place to form the "child". If we allow ourselves to focus on the puking and aches, we may not realize that there is so much more going on... a unique, miraculous formation. Growing and movement and developing....
And as my spiritual womb is quickening, I MUST focus on the life that God is forming, the "child" that is moving and growing, not on the aches and pains that come along with it.

Small Blessings...

So I've pretty much been in bed for the past 2 days.
My poor children.
I'm not sure if I've got a touch of the flu or if it's just this girl that I'm carrying, but whatever the case, my energy is zilch. We've watched a bit too much t.v., read a few books, and played a few games, but didn't move any more than was absolutely necessary. I began to think of my schedule for the next week or so...Saturday (tomorrow) I am to work, Sunday I teach, Monday I have a dr.s appt and then am supposed to go to work until Friday. Not something I usually do, but am doing as a favour for my boss. We are getting audited, and he asked if I could help out next week. So, I changed my schedule, Mike's schedule and my mom's schedule..and made it happen.
Today, however, I was dreading the decision.
Until the phone rang.
It was my boss.
Seems the auditor is not available until Tuesday. I have Monday off.
Thank you God.
He knows I was trying to help out, but knew more that I needed rest, and made if possible for that.
I think he changed their scheduling so I could have an extra day off.
He sure does love me.
Small blessings really do mean alot.

God sees the little sparrow fall...I know he sees me too!!

More pics for Cheryl...

Here's a few more of Cheryls cool do. I'll try to put as many as possible...my computer takes awhile to upload. Tomorrow I'll try to post some of Lindsays new room. (cheryl...your new hairdo gives me hope for Hannah's scraggles...she wants it long right now, but it's SO messy..God give me grace..lol.. Someday hopefully she'll pick a sweet pixie cut.)

For Cheryl....

I'm trying to post some pics for Cheryl since she can't do it on hers...Here is her new do' Nice eh???

Bloomin' BEAUTIES!!

Today was a long day for me.
I left the house at 6:30 this morning, went to work (with about 15 minutes for lunch), stopped off to look at a mattress, and ended up at my parents house so I could send my taxes. I made it home a bit after 6:00 p.m. Thankfully, my loving husband had the kids fed and bathed. We exchanged hellos and goodbyes at the door, and then I was left with reality of home. After a bit of talking and hugging, the kids sat down with a snack to watch their nightly "program" before bed. I folded 2 loads of laundry and put the dishwasher on. Shortly after, we got situated for bed...read our books, prayed, talked & slumber.... A bit more multitasking, and finally, at 8:39 I headed to the kitchen to start a bath and heat up some supper.....
That's when it happened.
The toll of the day takes hold.... half undressed, I looked in the mirror, and thought "man, you're getting fat..."
WHY??? WHAT??? Obviously, I'm a bit bigger than normal...(considering the 22 weeks of baby growing inside me..) but even still..I'm far from fat.
As are any of you girls...
So why do we judge ourselves like this???
Immediately, I took it back. I got my robe and headed downstairs for a minute. God lead me to this picture of me and a lady I met in Guatemala. I don't know that she had ever seen herself...in a mirror, camera, reflection.(most of the women did not know it was them who was staring back at them from our little cameras!!!)
She was so not beautiful in our standards... the teeth, the sagging (she was still nursing somebodys' child!!), the embedded dirt, the long messy hair...none of it was what we would proclaim as beauty.
But you can't look at this woman without feeling something...she was genuinely gorgeous. The love of Jesus that filled her was far more than any earthly beauty we acquire for...
I know that as we all reform towards the image we want (through healthy eating and needed excercise) we are getting much more INNER beauty from whom God is forming us to be. It can't help but be portrayed on the outside.. And we are blessed to be reminded, when we slip up, that in God's eyes we are beautiful.
What a wonderful way to begin spring.... blooming beauties.

God keeps his promises....

Oh...it's March break... a welcome week to weary children.
I have one of them.
My fun loving, contagious, spirited child, does NOT like to go to school. My personal opinion is that her teacher is not properly fitted for a classfull of 4 year olds. Still, we wake up every morning, put on a good face, and brave the halls of school. Some days it takes all I have to watch her walk away onto the playground. I come home blurry eyed much too often. ( I know there are many options for us, but we really felt that we were to stick this year out. We prayed hard making sure we were making the right choice in schools, and believe that she is where she is to be....)
On a recent interview with the teacher, she expressed concerns that Hannah wanted to colour everything in rainbow colours.
"For instance," she says, "take this frog. It should be green. She wanted to colour it a multitude of colours. We need to teach her to use one colour only."
Well, the human in me wanted to punch the lady right there.. (can you picture this?? Me, just hauling off and decking this lady!!) But I refrained, cause, well, a cop was sitting beside me.
"Hannah really likes colours, and I don't see the problem with her colouring it whatever colour she wants." I said
"Yes, but frogs are green, and we need to colour them properly."
I thought this was ridiculous, but also knew this was the ladys first year, and she was getting alot of slack already. My grace kicked in this once, and I let it pass--for now.
Wednesday night I reminded Hannah of what the teacher said.
"Hannah honey, Ms. A says that you colour your pictures in rainbow colours. Like the frog."
"Yeah."
"Do you know what colour a frog should be?"
"MOM..green."
"Okay, well I was just wondering why you were colouring in lots of colours and not just one.?"
"Because I like colours mama. Pink, purple, blue, red...I like them all!!"
"Okay."
A moment passed.
"Plus mama. Do you know what a rainbow is?"
"Yes, I do. Do you?"
"Yeah. It means trust. That God keeps his promises."
A tear rolled down my cheek. Ofcourse it would take a 4 year old to point out, that in the midst of maybe the most painful time of her day, during which she is somewhere she does not want to be, a place where she wonders why she has to go at all, she colours her picture in a reminder that GOD KEEPS HIS PROMISES.
I am sure God blesses us with children to remind us of his love, and to teach us much more than we know.

"The Lord is faithful to all his promises..." Psalm 145:13

Drum roll please......

This one's for Hollster....

It's a.......................







GIRL!!!!

Friends...

I've got a post in my head about God's promises, but I haven't made the time to sit and write it. Maybe after my ultrasound this afternoon I will... But for now I wanted to send a quick post to a good friend.

I had great pleasure to get out of the house this morning and visit with some gals. We all invaded Holly's house, 4 woman, 5 kids. It was good to be able to set aside time to get some adult talk in. (It's always about the kids anyways..but still good!!)
What really struck me today was an attitude that my friend (and I'm sure yours as well), Holly carried.
From the moment we arrived she spoke with my 2 year old, Isaiah, as if he were actually human. We all know that when you visit places with young kids, those that have older kids sometimes forget, or are glad they are out of the toddle stage, often babytalk or even ignore your kid(s). I even do that sometimes with visiting kids if I don't stop and think about it.
Holly immediately took Isaiah upstairs to find some toys, and the whole time talked to him in real conversation about Josiah's room and his toys, etc. After the other moms and kids arrived, she took time to get on the floor with Isaiah and play with him. All the while joining in conversation with us. She never once made me feel as though bringing my kid was an inconvienience, but was the opposite and made him (and I) feel especially welcome. Sometimes I turn down offers to meet with friends, b/c I always feel the kids are looked upon as a nuisance to the other parties. I figure my time will come soon enough when the kids are grown.
Today was different.
Thank you Holly for showing true love, as Jesus would.

Love, Amy

Check out the P.S.

Girls that have already read my previous post about "be careful what you ask for.." Check out my P.S. I totally forgot until I got home (I wrote it at my moms.)
FUNNY!!!!

Be careful what you ask for!!!

So, we all know that it's true...we spend most of our day wondering if there might be SOMETHING that will happen to us that day worthy enough to blog....
Well, today is my day!!

I set out to my hair appointment a tad early this morning. It feels as though, by the time I dress myself,and both the kids, my day is almost over. Lol. I'm always running out the door....Today was going to be different. Mike was home. I had lots of time. I headed out the door, jumped into the blessing of a car we own, and get about my way. I had decided I would stop at Walmart for a few minutes to check out the bicylces. It''s hard to make anything a surprise if the kids are always with you... On my way there, I noticed that the gas guage was going squirrly..which isn't unusual for this car. Sometimes it says full when it's empty...sometimes it says empty when its full....Lol.. I realized that I would be safer if I skipped Wally world (seeing as I would probably end up late anyways if I started looking around) and headed for the gas station. Wouldn't you know that the one on the way was out of gas.... I had forgotten that we were on a semi-gas shortage. I hoped that I had lots of gas to get to Madoc. I began a nice leisurely drive to Madoc, putting in my headphones and turning on the iPod. Yes, the car has no radio either...It really has been a good car for us, just is getting old. We only usually drive it to work and back, and a few other places-like Madoc. Suddenly I felt that I was being tugged to the right shoulder...
Wow, I thought, that wind is strong.
Thinking nothing of it, I drove on. A bit more down the road I heard an awful noise...not from my iPod, something louder. I removed my earplugs and listened. THat's coming from my car, I think...Yes it is. I immediately pulled over.
Out I got. Brr...It was cold.
I walked around the car..what could it be?...Then I saw it. A flat. And a dousie. Right down to the rim.
I chuckled.
I got back in the car and put my earphones in. A bit of Chris Tomlin was all I needed....
"How can I keep from singing your praise...How can I ever say enough..how amazing is your love..How can I keep from shouting your name, I'm a child of the King and it makes my heart wanna sing..."
Okay. I took the earplugs out. Now, what was I to do?? I had never learned how to change a tire...(maybe that should be my next reformation...get mechanical!!)
I picked up my phone. I'd call Mike.
Ring, ring, ring,...eight times. Please God, let him answer..(knowing Mike he had the music on fullblast, and his electric guitar just a rockin'')
Hello?
Mike..I have a flat.
Hello? Hello? click
Oh no. My cell phone was in a "valley". No connection.
I tried again.
Hello? Hello? click.
Thank goodness for call display...he called back. twice.
Ï have a flat."
"where r you"?"
click.
ring.
Ï tried 3 times to call him and tell him. Finally the phone rang- yet again. This was it..I was gonna yell and run...I got out of the car, starting running towards Belleville...yelling:
"PAST THE IGA. I"M PAST THE IGA."
Ï'm on my way."he says... WHEW. it worked. I looked like a knob, but IT WORKED!!
I get back to the car and jump in. By this time I had turned the car off because, well, you know..I was still concerned about that gas guage.
My wait began. I put my music back on, but wasn't really paying attention now... suddenly the diet coke I had earlier been drinking (at the beginning of my leisurely drive) decided to kick in. Uh-oh. A prego needing to go BAD... AND it was getting pretty darn cold in that car.
Then I saw it...the beautiful maroon van, that, up until this point I had despised the sight of...Did it look good!! In the car I noticed my daughter, (Mike had somehow managed to pick her up from school in the middle of the kaos..and early to boot..), my son (with no hat..but we won't mention that to MIke) and my beloved hubby. He shuttled the kids in the car, popped the trunk and started on the tire.
"Hurry up or you'll be late" he reminds me.
And so, safe in my (now) wonderful van, with a largely protruding bladder..I head out.
And..(by my clock on the van) I arrived at 11:59. 1 minute to go. (which I thankfully used in the bathroom)
After today, I don't know that I will ask God for any stories to blog.


P.S. After Mike changed the tire in the bitter cold, bought another tire, came home and changed that one-in the bitter cold, he went out again for a brief moment....AND RAN OUT OF GAS!! Now that's funny!!!

Another day...

Hey girls... (and guys??) -
I've been trying to hook Mike on this reforming thing, but he ain't game... just stares at me with this wierd look and shakes his head. He's not sure about the posties either, BUT I have convinced him that it would be so much simpler for me just to write on the walls (my stickies are around my treadmill, which is in basement, which is not finished....) so I was thinking that black magic marker would be great. Stickies, whether from walmart or the dollar store, do not stick well to bare wood or drywall. This way it would be permanent, I could always see it, AND what a great thing, down the road, when another family moves in...by then we're hoping the basement to be finished, and the kids grown a bit.... so, we'll see... either way, I hope we all can post some pictures at the end of the month of our ever growing posties...

No great stories today, nothing too interesting, except to say that I am really enjoying this blogging, and the 21 day reformation. Thanks Cheryl for including us in. And a BIG welcome to my best friend Joy who has just joined us. (check out her blog...link is to the right under JOY).

"He who began a good work in us...will carry it unto completion!!!"

Day #2...UGH!!

So here we are, the "Reformation Team", excited and beaming with anticipation. We read the blog a few days ago, prayed and meditated on what God had in store for us, and jumped on the band wagon to reformation. Ooohh..it felt good. All these girls ready to change. Change their weight, change their outlook, change their habits...something, anything that fit for them. It felt so good. God was up to something. Literally from the east to the west. It was time for change.....
Then day #2 came.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I have yet to feel the excitement today. Lol. I think it has passed.
An "issue" that I have been dealing with for years now (I'm sorry I cannot publicly display for chances of offending--it's not huge, just won't go away!! ha), suddenly POPPED UP today. Imagine. And everytime that I have to go down this road, my self worth lowers. It's an issue that attacks my motherhood, my ability as a wife, my decisions and my whole being. And it DRIVES ME CRAZY!! I want to jump up and yell. I want to find a frying pan and run frantically down the road, screaming, with my housecoat on. (Why my housecoat? Who knows...I just feel comfortable in it!!) I want to throw things at my wall. (or people!) I want to move 10 000 miles away. I do none of this though. lol, I do however, spend a fair bit of time crying. It literally drains me physically, emotionally (especially today--being pregnant!) and at times, spiritually. I usually put on some worship music and try to mellow, then forget. In 16 years it has never gone away.
But now, I'm not going to try to forget. I am going to turn some music on, do my #1 reformation on the treadmill, and bring my bible with me. I am going to read my posties, remind myself that I am worthy. I am a good mom. A good wife. A good person. I may not feel love from everyone in my life, but I can't help but feel love from my Saviour. My King of Kings. The one who knows me best, and loves me best. And I will pray to look at this "issue" as God does. He alone is my refuge.

Wow Cheryl...I could have done without this one...lol....No, really it's all good.
I am so glad God continues to change and reform us, the good, bad and the ugly!!
Still not excited, but keeping on keeping on!
MUAH.

"How great is the LOVE the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of GOD!! And that is what we are!!" 1 John 3:1