Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Did I just say that?

Oh..I know. It's been a really long time. I have a good excuse. Kind of. Well, not really. But we'll talk about that some other time. There have been, umm, things, going on. Life happens.

Amidst all that has been going on, we try to keep our humour intact. It's not that hard around here. Here are just a few things that I have caught myself saying in the past week:

Please get your fingers out of my hair. I know it's a special comb but it really hurts mommys head. Thank you.

Yes, I think Mickey does kiss Minnie. Yes, probably because he lubs her.

Just eat it please. No, it's not chicken. Yes, I know you like chicken best. This is not chicken. Now please eat it.

No, I don't think his balls were itchy. It's the way he dances. And why are you calling them balls?

Do I look like an idiot? (yes! I said that--and expected an answer????)

Why are you saying that? It's not very nice. No, brothers don't stink. Well Hannah was wrong.

Why are we talking about this? Oh. Well yes, they probably will be small. Good. I'm glad you are okay with that.

You will get your sticker when your room is clean. It is? Okay, well then lets go check. Oh. Okay. I'll stay here just one minute.

and the best....

No honey, you did not just crack your vagina. You were born that way. Yes. Now please stop crying.

Sorry it's been so long. Will try to stop by more often.

Keep laughing!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


So, my friend Holly asked if I would share "my" shortbread recipe (hee hee..it's not really "mine"!!) and blog about it.

I oblige.. (in a hillbilly kind of way)

Put the butter in your mixer.
A whole pound.
(I can feel my hips growing as I write)

(I said whip it, whip it!) A LOT. Like, go and fold some laundry, check your facebook, pay some bills, call a friend kind of whip it.
(It needs to go from yellow to white)

Oh yeah. Preheat your oven. 325* (on mine)
Add in your cornstarch and icing sugar. And a pinch of salt. Mix those yummy dry ingredients in...
Mix in your flour one cup at a time. (That would make 3 times for anyone that isn't so great at math). Don't forget your vanilla.
Now, if you are spoiled blessed like I am, than take out your Wolfgang Puck Cookie Press. (If you aren't than you will need some kind of spoons or something). Put them evenly onto your cookie sheets.
Huh? Oh. Don't forget about tonights' supper. You might be very hungry while cooking the shortbreads--especially if you aren't allowed to eat them!!!
Put them in the oven. I'd say 12-15 minutes. But watch them. If they start to brown--get them out!!! They burn very easy!!
Watch out. They are very slippery. (don't let your child eat them off the floor either...unless of course they get to them before you do)
Pack them all up and give them away to your friends. (or eat them...but I guarantee one won't suffice, so you might be 'paying' for it come January --when you need new clothes and a treadmill!)

Whipped Shortbreads

1 pound butter

1 cup icing sugar

1/2 cup cornstarch

pinch salt

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon vanilla

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Would you like fries with that?

For those who know me well, you will know that I don't handle mess very well. I can do dirt okay. But mess? Sends me over the top. I literally have a very hard time functioning in it. Stems back to somewhere in my lineage. (seriously!) That, coupled with a neat-freak mom, leads to a tad whacko ME!!

If I think back to my (really good!) childhood I can remember a very clean house. I remember Saturday mornings being allotted for cleaning and baking. I remember the living room being the "good" room that no one played in.

I also remember being the only kid to bring in super cool chocolates on a stick that my mom made!
I remember trading my homemade butter tarts for oreos. because everyone wanted my moms butter tarts.
I remember homemade 'professionally' decorated birthday cakes.
I remember swimming parties for my whole class with lots of homemade food.

And this is what I want my kids to remember. (among many things!!)

Yes, their mom was a tad neurotic.
And that: even
though her kitchen being like this hurt her head.

That having her kids bring in these for the funfair:

(cupcake hamburgers & blueberry muffins)
it was all worth it!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010