It seems as though most of my days lately have been filled with some sort of grace...either grace given TO me, or grace given BY me...and many more examples all around me...I've really been questioning God on what exactly he needs me to learn, because I don't know if I can handle anymore of it...lol...(that may be what he wants me to learn!!!)
Today, like most days, it took my (almost) 5 year old daughter to once again teach me about grace.
I was puttering around the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes and making supper, while she was outside playing with the neighbour boy. He is 5, yet, he is about a foot taller than Hannah and probably 30 pounds heavier than her. We "babysit" (?) him about 3 times a week while his parents are at work, and the rest of the time, the kids are mostly together..(now that spring is here, it is always outside..) They have definatly started playing like brother and sister---which we all know can sometimes get ugly.
I went about my business when Hannah came into the house holding her nose. Her face was red, and tears were welled up in her eyes. Her nose was bleeding--seemed she had somehow torn skin from the side of her nostril.
"what happened honey?"
"David punched me" she said
"he punched you? David? Why honey?"
"well he wasn't sharing the swing, and I told him he had too, but he didn't want too, so he punched me."
Ofcourse with 5 year olds, some of the stories do need to be sifted through to see what REALLY happened...and I wasn't quite sure if there was something I was missing....I knew that kids will be kids, but I was pretty mad. I, being 31, wanted to march out there and take ahold of the kid, being 5, and TELL HIM WHAT I THOUGHT!! (Ha...imagine...and I proclaim to be an "adult")
Instead I took Hannah in my arms and gave her a big hug. We discussed a few more things, put a bandaid on her nose, and dried her tears.
"can I have a poptart mom?" she asked after we fixed her up
"well, okay" I couldn't say no...she just got punched in the face...
While I was getting the poptarts down, I asked "what do you want to do now then?"
"Play with David"
HUH??? Did she just say what I thought she said?? Play with the guy who just punched her in the nose?? The guy who wouldn't share with her or be her friend??
"you do?" I ask.
"yep. and can we break the poptart into pieces? David needs a piece too.."
OKAY...had I just heard her right? Not only did she want to play with this fellow, but she wanted to share her treats with him?? What wasn't I getting?? Much to my dismay, I had to admit I WAS the adult in this situation...why was I having a hard time extending grace, when my baby handed it out like it was candy?---and to a 5 year old to boot!!!
So often we carry around offences and grief, hold grudges and judgement, about what someone did, or someone said. We spend precious time focusing on what happened, who did it, why they shouldn't have...etc..etc......
when all we really need is the grace of a 5 year old.
To think of all the times I should have went back out to play and shared my poptarts....and instead I chose to stay inside and cry about the blood on my face, and the pain in my heart....it would have been so much easier if I had extended a bit of grace......