Friday, April 13, 2007
A part of me...
(YES!! Mike is sleeping IN the crib with Isaiah....!)
I have been hesitant to write this for a long time now. a) I do not want to sadden those of you who are facing difficult situations. It's a very tender subject. b) at times people don't always understand...and no matter how you try to explain it, they don't see it the way you feel it... (sounds like a relationship doesn't it??!!)
You see, I think there is one person on this planet that I love "more" than anyone....(I am hesitant to say "more"..as you will see why).. Maybe I should say "different".?
I have been so blessed with my life. I have a wonderful family. My parents would do anything for me. They love me unconditionally and always have. My brother..enough said. I have 2 beautiful, wonderful, amazing children, whom I love with every fibre of my being. A love that is so unique, so genuine, so pure. True blessings.
These are blessings that were chosen FOR me. God knew these were the people that I needed in my life, to shape who I am.
He gave them to me, no choice, no decision, just as a blessing.
There is one blessing, however, that was chosen BY me. (Don't get me wrong-- I believe God purposed our lives, but we could have chosen different paths.)
And maybe that's why I feel the way I do...because it was my choice. And now I have to live with my choice.
But I LOVE living with my choice.
I absolutely, with everything I am, love and adore my husband.
Sure, there are times...(we have all been there, we will all be there...Why can't he just pick up??!! lol)
But when I forget all the petty things, and focus on who he is, I am amazed at how God has blessed me with a choice I made. Mike is the most perfect husband for me. He loves me more than anything. And I know it. He adores me. He always stands behind me, whether he agrees or not. He thinks I am beautiful. He never makes me feel inferior, or less than. Always esteems me in front of our children. Will not allow them to sass or back talk to me. He is an amazing father. He loves his children. He wants only the best for them, and he knows that they need him. He loves God and strives to be more like him despite his failures. He takes his job seriously and works hard at it. (It amazes me that he can go to work, deal with drug dealers reaching for guns, gay lovers so ravished with aids that they are running around the streets naked, drunk men who have just broken their girlfriends arm-while their children watch, a depressed man who has just shot his head off, being spit on regularly, being called a ***@@@ and a $#%* nightly---and then come home to us and extend to us so much love.)
He is often misunderstood and judged.
But I don't see any of that.
I see a choice I make, and a choice he makes, and that God over and abundantly blesses us with our choices.
Mike is a part of me. A part that I love more than any words can express.
And because I have the freedom of love in my marriage, it allows for me to openly strive for, and seek, a love for God like no earthly love. I am in awe that I am able to love EVEN MORE than I do. God loves me so much more than anyone could, and I am free to choose to love him back. And love him with all my heart, mind and soul.
I am blessed by my husband.
You may, or may not have such a blessing.
But we are all given the opportunity to give and take the love of God.
The earthly love we feel is NOTHING in comparison to the heavenly love that is just waiting for us to take.