Friday, April 13, 2007

A part of me...


(YES!! Mike is sleeping IN the crib with Isaiah....!)

I have been hesitant to write this for a long time now. a) I do not want to sadden those of you who are facing difficult situations. It's a very tender subject. b) at times people don't always understand...and no matter how you try to explain it, they don't see it the way you feel it... (sounds like a relationship doesn't it??!!)


You see, I think there is one person on this planet that I love "more" than anyone....(I am hesitant to say "more"..as you will see why).. Maybe I should say "different".?

I have been so blessed with my life. I have a wonderful family. My parents would do anything for me. They love me unconditionally and always have. My brother..enough said. I have 2 beautiful, wonderful, amazing children, whom I love with every fibre of my being. A love that is so unique, so genuine, so pure. True blessings.
These are blessings that were chosen FOR me. God knew these were the people that I needed in my life, to shape who I am.
He gave them to me, no choice, no decision, just as a blessing.

There is one blessing, however, that was chosen BY me. (Don't get me wrong-- I believe God purposed our lives, but we could have chosen different paths.)
And maybe that's why I feel the way I do...because it was my choice. And now I have to live with my choice.
But I LOVE living with my choice.
I absolutely, with everything I am, love and adore my husband.
Sure, there are times...(we have all been there, we will all be there...Why can't he just pick up??!! lol)
But when I forget all the petty things, and focus on who he is, I am amazed at how God has blessed me with a choice I made. Mike is the most perfect husband for me. He loves me more than anything. And I know it. He adores me. He always stands behind me, whether he agrees or not. He thinks I am beautiful. He never makes me feel inferior, or less than. Always esteems me in front of our children. Will not allow them to sass or back talk to me. He is an amazing father. He loves his children. He wants only the best for them, and he knows that they need him. He loves God and strives to be more like him despite his failures. He takes his job seriously and works hard at it. (It amazes me that he can go to work, deal with drug dealers reaching for guns, gay lovers so ravished with aids that they are running around the streets naked, drunk men who have just broken their girlfriends arm-while their children watch, a depressed man who has just shot his head off, being spit on regularly, being called a ***@@@ and a $#%* nightly---and then come home to us and extend to us so much love.)
He is often misunderstood and judged.
But I don't see any of that.
I see a choice I make, and a choice he makes, and that God over and abundantly blesses us with our choices.
Mike is a part of me. A part that I love more than any words can express.

And because I have the freedom of love in my marriage, it allows for me to openly strive for, and seek, a love for God like no earthly love. I am in awe that I am able to love EVEN MORE than I do. God loves me so much more than anyone could, and I am free to choose to love him back. And love him with all my heart, mind and soul.

I am blessed by my husband.
You may, or may not have such a blessing.
But we are all given the opportunity to give and take the love of God.
The earthly love we feel is NOTHING in comparison to the heavenly love that is just waiting for us to take.

12 comments:

Roxanne said...

Amy these words jumped out at me:
"I see a choice I make and a choice he makes, and that God over and abundantly blesses us with our choices."
You and Mike continue to make choices that bring blessing to both your marriage and your relationship with the author of marriage.

Rhonda said...

Beautiful post Amy. I can relate to the love that you feel towards a man that God has blessed you with and that you had a part in saying 'yes' to. Just as we are able to choose to say 'yes' to our heavenly bridegroom.

My marriage has not always been the epitamy of a God-filled union. However, we have certainly made up for lost time. The years where God has been the Lord of our home have erased all prior. I am able to know now that my husband adores me and to be cherished by your 'one and only' is beyond words.

Shari said...

Beautifully written and very touching. When I reflect on what Kevin and I based our decision to get married - it seem sooooo insignificant to what we now have. I am so thankful for our commitment to our covenant, each other, and our God.

We both will fight for our relationship and not allow the enemy ANY ground. This has required honesty and humility on both our parts....and it is so worth it all.

My kids have talked about wanting what we have in our relationship...I know we must be a positive example of a healthy marriage.

For all who have loved and been betrayed my heart goes out to you. Remember Eph 3:20...He is able to do abundantly more than you can even ask or think... He is A BIG GOD!!

Joy said...

Amy, you are blessed and I can think of no other man who would match you more than Mike. He has been a blessing to me and knowing him over the years has allowed me to see a man of integrity, wisdom, passion and loyalty. I am honored to have a place in your life where I get to see your marriage in action and how Mike responds to my children brings me near to tears. He's one of the good ones. I love him lots... and I love you, friend.
Beautifully written... lovely.

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame.
Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned."
Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Holly said...

Lovely post Amy! You are blessed behond measure!!! Thank you God!

Jen said...

Amy

You did an amazing job...

With a heart like this...."surely your husband and children will rise up and call you BLESSED!!!"

Never be afraid to testify of the goodness of God in any area of your life. For those struggling, it will become a beacon of Hope...especially when you share from your heart.
Bless you and Mike....Tell him it's time to move to a "BIG BOY BED" though...you'll need that crib soon!

Tammy said...

Oh Amy, how true. TO be loved so unconditionally. It truly is a blessing, I am amazed how perfectly matched Todd and I are, he compliments me and I compliment him. 21 years later, and we love each other more than we could ever imagine.
Beautifully written, you are a hidden treasure. Be released!!!!
You are truly blessed, GO GOD!!
Tammy

Cheryl said...

Amy well written and oh my gosh I love the photo!!! I told Sid about it.

One thing that I have always admired about you is your love and deep protection for you husband. Ain't nobody gonna come at Mike and get past Amy. I love that about you. You are his greatest fan and encourager.
Thanks for reminding me of his great strengths.
He is truly unique and a gift to many.

Vicki said...

I love how Shari mentioned that what they based their decision to get married on is so insignificant to what they have now. That's the same for Andrew and I ... the years, the trials, the kids, the growing ... have all worked to allow our love to become deeper!

There were days when I needed hope and watching those around me with beautiful, God-filled marriages gave me that hope, so never hesitate to share the love God has given you. It is a beacon of hope to those watching you!

Maya said...

Oh Amy,
I read your site often and thought I would let you know (as mentioned through tears in my wedding speech) that I am inspired (and always have been) by your relationship with your husband, your children and God. I am looking forward to the many months of maternity leave that we can share together as I know friends like you can only make me a better person.
Thanks

Tamatha said...

AAAAWWWWww.....I love that photo!! SO cute!:o)
I am happy for you!:o)...you and your man are a great match:o)

redeemed diva said...

Amy, I love the authenticity and transparency in your post. Keep it up...your heart has so much good stuff to say!
I completely understand how you feel about your husband. You articulated some of my very own thoughts towards my handsome man.
Thanks for thinking out loud.