Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Has anyone checked out Cheryl's new blog?

I was taking a mini "break" today, putting my list aside for 10 minutes to check my email and surf "my" blogs... I sat with my diet coke, some eggies, and my blogs...filling my addictions felt wonderful. That's when I came across Cheryls blog. It intrigued me...set me to thinking..what a grand idea...starting something and hoping it to be a habit the first day of spring...genius! I spent a few more minutes surfing, then grudgingly picked up my list. (By this time Isaiah had managed to have marked the whole list up, crossed out most of the lines and made beautfiul 2 year old swirlies over most of the page.) I quickly jotted down another list...finish laundry, bake cookies, organize Hannah's closet..etc...
We (Isaiah and I) headed up the stairs to tackle a job...he began to sing to the radio "evting gwoious", I began to ponder on my "reformation". It brought me to this time last year.
New Years Day, 2006. I fell down the stairs. Nothing major, lots of bruises, an ambulance bill, and a crying daughter. Shortly after that, however, I began having trouble with my eyesight. I began a process of eye doctor appointments, eye medicines, and constant glasses--no more contacts. Oddly enough, the hardest part of it all, was one of the restrictions I had. No makeup. For 4 months. The doc told me this, and I thought.."Oh well, no big deal"---and it wasn't--until the first time I had to "go out". It was amazing how this affected me. Now, you see, I know that I'm far from model material, but I definately don't tell myself I'm ugly. I truly believe God made me the way I am for a reason, and he lovingly placed Mike in my life to encourage and uplift me. Mike thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. But, at that time he could have told me 1000 times and I would have still felt .... less than. I couldn't understand why I felt that. I didn't feel the need to always wear makeup, I never went to the store with it on. I used it on occasion. Yet, I still felt different. As though it mattered. It was as though not having the option changed my self image. STRANGE.
Thus began my journey (yet another..right!??) of self worth. A lesson I felt I had known for some time, and could probably teach on.
Now, a year later, with 95% of my eyesight back, and a brand new pair of glasses, I want to revisit that place again. I want to reform my thinkings yet again. I want to remind my 31 year old, 20 weeks along, 10 pounds heavier me, that God loves me so very much. He made me in his very own image....and that she who fears the Lord is to be praised.(the beginning of that verse is beauty is Sometimes, with everything else going on around us, we need to take some time for us, and remember we are beautiful in his sight. And that's all that matters.
So, my sticky notes will be on my treadmill. Verses of God's love for me. Reminders of some of the good things I am. Pats on the back for what I have done, and what I CAN DO--through him who gives me strength.
Join me. It's good for the soul.

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"......Eleanor Roosevelt


shari said...

I'm THRILLED about your vision being restored. It's amazing how we can take something for granted one day and then everything changes.

We are such blessed people - with or without make-up... but I will admitt that I LOVE MAKE-UP, especially as I get older. Wow, make-up sure can hide a lot of tired old stuff!!

You know what they say ..... "if the barn needs painting". I look in the mirror some days and say "Paint the barn baby - paint the barn"!!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Oh Amy, do I hear you. The last few months I have been dealing with the same thing. A few pounds heavier and not because I am pregnant, and my face has erupted. Thank the Lord for our husbands that see beyond the surface. I am so thankful for the book I have doing a study on, "Search for Significance" what a good book. That no matter what God loves us and He designed us. WOW!!! Overwhelms me at times. God sees our heart, and how willing we are to serve and obey. Love ya my friend, enjoyed lunch with you and your family the other day.
The family of God, how rich we are!!!!!
I am so glad to hear about your eye sight. GO GOD!!!!!!!

Holly said...

I am with you Amy!
We all seem to have these issues that cause us to struggle with our self worth. For me, it is trying to still like myself after another hair(s) discovery on my flippen chin!!!;o)
In God's eyes we are so beautiful and perfect. That is what is true and what we need to focus on.
Thank you God for the unconditional Father's love that you have for allllll of your kid's!

Team Canada Returns said...

Love this blog Amy! Keep writing! And I really love the quote! It is so true. Lord help us all to see ourselves the way He sees us. You really are beautiful!
luv leanne

Anonymous said...

God has definitely got His finger on wanting to deal with our self worth once and for all. The way we look at ourselves effects the lens we look out at others with.
I am so proud of you, you are an inspiration to all who have the priviledge of knowing you.

Tamatha said...

Yeah......what Cheryl said! You are an inspiration. I am truely blessed to have met you. At a time when I was feeling quite alone and not sure what direction to turn...there you were. (when was this you ask?)
I know we have never really been close...but have blessed me over and over. Your warm encouraging smile and your great sense of humor!! You gave me a nick-name (well...using my middle name) and you are the only one that calls me that!
You made me feel welcomed and a part of the Desert Stream family and especially when I joined the worship team...I was really nervous since you all had worked to gether for so long already...but you set my nervousness at ease with your jokes and silly things you would do. Thanks Amy for being you!