Check out MckMama's blog to see more hilarious blogs for 'Not Me! Mondays'
I did not fall down the stairs today while carrying the baby. And if I did fall down the stairs, I would never have thought for a milli second of letting go of the baby so I could land gracefully. After that milli-second, I did not land on my big toe and gimp around for the remainder of the evening. (and quite possibly tomorrow as well!) That's just too clumsy. I'm not clumsy. I'm intensely elegant.
I did not drive to Walmart specifically for printer ink and with a note specifying the EXACT ink I needed to purchase for my printer. I did not go down the isle and pick out, then purchase that EXACT ink. I did not arrive home, attempt to install the ink and find out that I had boughten the WRONG ink!!! I wouldn't do that. That's plain hairbrained. I'm very observant.
I did not spend 1/2 an hour, alone/without any children, watching Do.r.a. And if I HAD watched 20 uninterrupted minutes of that cute little explorer, I absolutely would not belt out my best rendition of 'turn the wheel Eesa'. Nope, not me. I don't watch t.v. And if I did, it surely wouldn't be D.or.a!
I did not tell my son that he could not eat lunch because grandma was making a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. And if I had denied all of us lunch, I would never have made a trip to the movie store to feed my craving of chips. If I had happened to make that trip, there is no way, no how, I would have then allowed him to EAT some of those chips before Thanksgiving dinner. That's just ridiculous. I don 't eat chips, especially for lunch and before THANKSGIVING supper. Nor do I let my son eat chips. That's unhealthy. We are very healthy.
I absolutely did not get summoned to court this week because of a parking ticket I did not get a few weeks ago.
If I had of gotten that ticket, I would never have shrugged off my husbands efforts to "have it taken care of"..that's not right. Of course I paid for the ticket. I absolutely would never forget to pay that. If I had forgetten to pay for the ticket, there is no way that (after the 3rd notice) they would have returned the payment stating there was NO CHEQUE ENCLOSED!! If any of that happened I would have immediately sent another cheque, so there is no way that I would have gotten it returned AGAIN stating it wasn't enough money therefore I was to show up in court. That may have happened to someone, but definitely not me. That is down right irresponsible. And I just may be the most responsible person you have ever met. Ever.