It's been quite the journey the last weeks/months. A journey of sadness and pain, upheaval and emotion. A journey we wouldn't have asked for or chosen, but one that was allowed upon us, only to the amount we could handle.
The sadness itself has been more real than I've ever experienced. Not really because any of these situations hit directly to home, but mainly because my husband wallows through the trenches of the pain and sadness daily. He tries not to 'bring it home' with him, but sometimes he has no choice.(this is a later post).
Oh, it may be more than some could handle, and definitely not even close to what you may have gone through, but for us, it was enough. I clearly remember talking to God one evening, and asking if he could just say "ENOUGH".
My lack of posts was a reaction to this "stuff", it's hard to write honestly when you feel sad. Why make others sad? Which is mainly why I would post pics or stories of the babe, because she brings me daily joy. (As they all do.)
God remains faithful to show me the humour around me.
Case in point: (please bear with me, I hope it reads as funny as it was. I will try my best to explain)
Yesterday, when I arrived at work, a co-worker informed me I was to be on my best behaviour. No singing, no dancing around the store, no fun. There was to be a "head honcho" from head office coming to inspect the store/staff. It was meant as a joke, but we all were well behaved. The man came and stayed for a large chunk of the day.
Now, let me explain that I was the cashier. The regular girl had asked for the day off ,and since I will help out whenever I can, I said I would go on cash. This time of year, we aren't very busy, so they day can become quite boring if you are on cash. I bide my time with some paperwork I bring up, but since you are mainly alone, one can tend to daydream.
Because the 'man' was gone, I felt free to be myself again. At which point, I became dangerous.
I had finished with a customer, thanking him and watching him leave, when I believed I was all alone, and the store was empty of customers.
I began perusing my papers, feeling the beat to the radio, tapping my foot, swaying my body, mouthing the lyrics.
I guess I liked the song, because at one point I bellowed (yes! Bellowed)
"WHAT"YA GONNA DOOOOOOOOO!!" using full vibrado, while tipping my body backwards, playing my imaginary guitar, strumming like rock star!
In a split second, I looked around, to find an old man (whom I did not know was standing there) STARING at me with a reply of
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??" (exactly what he said!)
I did not know how to respond.
I simply started laughing, and did not stop for atleast 5 minutes. Deep-down-belly-jigglin-eyes-full-of-tears-please-help-me-catch-my-breath laughing.
God is so good.