Tuesday, November 27, 2007

**Warning**

**This post may contain language. But no nudity. Viewer discretion is advised!**

I broke my vacuum. AGAIN. This being the third vacuum in three weeks. I am STILL CERTAIN it is just God letting me know that a) I need to hand over vacuuming duties to someone else...or b) I need hardwood floors.
It does state "He knows the desires of our hearts" yes? So clearly, He is trying to tell me something. Mike has yet to hear Him.
After much thought, I decided to take the third vacuum back. I had only purchased it the week before, and broken the belt twice. I settled the kids, vacuum and myself into the van and set off to Wally World. Not a treck or venture that any of my children enjoy, but one that I wanted to get over with. I needed my vacuum. Even if I didn't use it, I needed to know I had one and could obtain clean floors at a moments notice. The thrill of a clean carpet moved me to set out on this excursion.
About 1/2 hour after leaving, we made it to 'customer service'...Hannah helped by wheeling the vacuum from the van into the store...when we got to the desk, it was not only covered in the dirt from our renovating basement, but managed to obtain some puddle water, a nick from the curb, and possibly a crack or two from Isaiah trying to sit on it while we walked. I was still smiling..all is well.
We were 4th in line. Not too bad. Could be worse. It was vacuuming we're talking about here! Squirmy #1 and #2 found a plant. Managed to knock it over. I was still smiling..although the man behind me did not find it as funny as I. Baby started screaming. Must be tired right? Or was she getting as impatient as I was? The woman in front of me kept looking behind at me. Was there something on my face? Had I looked in the mirror this morning? I couldn't remember. When I got to the counter, the lady didn't even ask about the vacuum. She took my reciept and gave me the money. Odd. Wasn't she to ask me if I wanted an exchange? Must be the lineup! Isaiah was now behind the desk rolling the vacuum around. I was still smiling.
Even this organized, overachiever likes a good adventure now and then...so we set out to get a few baking goods. Well, I set out to get some baking goods...the kids set out for a good old game of hide and seek.
An hour later I had found some lard and butter. Excellent. And since the kids were so well behaved, we decided to get some french fries. By this time we were all ready for some grease.
There were atleast 8 people in line. No problem. Could be worse. It is french fries we're talking about here! I decided I would seat the children and then wait in line. We found a table smack dab in the middle of the store. A lovely old lady was beside us, perusing her recently purchased photos. I started to situate the children, looking after toques, coats..etc when I noticed the lady "harumphing". You know, sighing VERY LOUD. As if she were ticked off at something, but noone knew what. She proceeded to hastily pick up her pictures that she was ever so carefully laying on the table. Something, and something bad, had set her off! Hmm..odd. I continued my undressing. (so there is nudity...sorry!) She continued to "harumph" and then began to glare at us. Then she turned and almost ran to the other side of the store to find a seat.
I settled the kids, went to line up. The lovely old lady quickly walked beside me and budded in front of me. Odd. I almost felt bad for her. I kindly touch her and said "Excuse me. I hope that we didn't make you move from your seat?" As she turned, I knew that I should not have spoken. This lovely old lady, suddenly grew 6 feet and spewed "IT"S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WHAT I DO" to an oblivious, smiling me. All 15 people in line, (it had grown) turned to look at this lovely old lady, and ME.
Odd.
For 30 seconds I stood shocked. Then I slowly, infectiously, started laughing. As I looked back at my children, I noticed they were gone. Oh no they weren't. Isaiah was laying on the floor and Hannah was sitting on him.
Ahhh...yes, this is what life is about. French fries, vacuuming and children.
I was still smiling.

20 comments:

Holly said...

Laughter is such good THERAPY!!! You really did handle the situation well Amy. I hope that I would pass with flying colors as you did,if I was faced with a similar situation.

Shari said...

Wow, I can see the "Christmas spirit" was alive and well in that older lady... NOT. Good reminder for us girls and what NOT to become like.

Laughter is wonderful medicine... some days I need a double dosage please.

Shari said...

By the way, what is it with vacuums these days. I've had a terrible time finding a decent one. If you discover one that picks up more than a speck and doesn't dislocate your arm from the weight.. let me know.

Amy said...

Okay girls...I must admit something.

I started laughing, because I was trying to picture my mother in 15 years reacting the way that this lady did...nearly split my side thinking about it.
And, no, my kids weren't doing ALL of those things, but thought I'd add a few to make it a bit more amusing. They really are quite good kids, if I don't say so myself. LOL!

Holly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Holly said...

By the way. I am in love with my vacuum. I got it from Sears and it is a Kenmore "power-mate" and is 12. amps. I totally recommend it!

Shari said...

Holly,
Does Shaun know about this Ken More that you are so passionate about? This is how rumours start!!

Holly said...

lol
yep, Shaun knows about Ken!!!

Roxanne said...

Amy, this is my favorite post yet! It brings back memories of shopping with three little ones. I also remember responding to a tourist at Algonquin Park when they didn't appreciate Rachelle's singing in a public place. I'm afraid I wasn't as gracious as you!:)

Shari said...

I remember the days of grocery shopping with 3 little ones. I had one cart with the baby carrier and toddler. The other cart held my high energy 4 year old and groceries. I would pull one cart while pushing the other and searching the isles for the best deals. Hum, who says I can't juggle.

Amanda's little hands somehow grabbed a jar of dill pickles and smash... dill pickle juice all over the floor.

Then I got the "LOOK" from a store employee... you know the "Why don't you pay attention to your kids and get control over them" LOOK.

I'm happy to report that the fruit of the spirit was all over me that day and I refrained from breaking a second jar of pickles over his thick skull.

Jen said...

Oh Amy, you are amazing....I think I would have left crying....
You really do have very good kids, why can't everyone remember the difficult days that we all have had in parenting, and be kind or dare I say, even helpful?

A year or so ago, Mark and I went through vacuum woes...we went to Cosco and paid a little more for a Hoover wind tunnel...but it is great!!!

Rhonda said...

My two oldest used to play 'hide and seek' in the clothes racks in Sears. I 'almost' came home with less bodies than I left with, more than once.

You handled yourself remarkably so. I'm still curious about the old lady though. Did she not realize that she was dining at MCDONALDS?! Children do often go there. :) She couldn't have been expecting a quiet setting, could she?!

redeemed diva said...

LThere's nothing a good Hoover and a great sense of humour can't fix! Good for you Amy! Don't let the grumpy ones bring you done. Thanks for writing on your blog again.

Vicki said...

I'm laughing my head off! Too funny. I must recommend a Dyson. I was able to get one about a year ago and have never had one problem with it ... it works great, never breaks, it's easy to use ... the whole works!


Vicki

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy, I remember a lady called us up once and told us that if Todd was planning on being a pastor what would he do if they all acted like ours. I was not so gracious and told her if she wanted to listen to the sermon she should of sat closer to the front!!! YIKES!!!
Good for you!!! Vaccuum cleaner.....i don't even know the name of mine. It's a cheapy!!!!Before this one I had a electrolux that came over in the ark. IT had duct tape on it and everything.

Williams Family Blog said...

Oh Amy,
This must be the rude woman you mentioned on Facebook...Hopefully I don't run into her when I'm running errands with three kids in tow.

Cheryl said...

What a good laugh. It brought back a million Wally Mart memories for me. Lindsay's unusual screams or gurgling, choking spells always drew a ton of glares... lol

You go girl!!!!!

Cheryl said...

Girls... if you want a really good vacuum... but not cheap... go the the vacuum store on Dundas st... and get a Miele... a European made vacuum they does wonders... and lasts forever.

My Transcendent Heart... said...

Amy...wow what an encouragement...
Often I don't know what to do and think to myself..."What am I supposed to say? There must be something?"
But you just answered that question...
I don't need to respond to it at all...
That becomes the greater responce..
Thanks for being an amazing woman...
I will chose to smile and laugh now..hehe
Muah!!

Tamatha said...

lol....what an adventure indeed!:o)