Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Sixty years ago today....

My father was born. June 19, 1947.
Maybe because we think of these things as we get older, or because my dad has/is going through health issues as of late, or maybe because I am carrying a child of my own...but I have been thinking about my grandmother and the birth of her son.
I have many questions for my grandma.
I wonder what the day was like? How much did he weigh? Was he "early" or late? What his siblings thought of him? What she thought of him?
Answers I will never know as my grandmother is deceased, and my dad has no recollection of answers to these questions. Maybe they never talked about it, maybe, after 12 kids, she didn't remember, maybe it's too difficult for him to remember.
Born the 6th child of 12, to a Catholic mother and athiest father, the pain of his childhood was deep. His memories often clouded with an undertone of times gone wrong. Snapshots of a mother overwhelmed with unhappiness, a father boiling with anger. Bad choices made. Wounds cut deep. The enemies lies about not being wanted, not being loved. Lies.

" For I know the plans I have for you..."

I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that God knows all of these things, he knows all of the intimate details of my fathers birth and life. He planned them. He was watching over my father then, just as he watches over him now. He chose my father for "such a time as this" and placed in his pathway the people he needed. Through my dads willingness to change what he "knew" or was "taught", God over and abundantly blessed his life. And, in turn, gave me the best possible dad that I could ask for...the dad that I needed, to help shape me into whom I am today.

Happy 60th Dad...I am so very thankful you never fully believed any of those lies.


Norm said...

Tell your Dad for me that he is much loved and wanted by the Ruttan family.

It isn't what happens to you, but what you do about what happens to you, and your Dad (Gary) is a great example of someone who has overcome tremendous odds to set an example for others of love and acceptance.

We love him.


Anonymous said...

Good questions, Amy, and good answers. Make sure you ask your Dad and your Mom all the questions you need to know now - the questions you didn't have a chance to ask your grandmother.

Jen said...

Happy Birthday Gary....we love you, you are awesome!

Amy, I hope that my kids will one day feel as you do. When they know the past, I hope they will feel that I too made better choices and chose not to believe the lies...You are a blessing to your parents and your children!

allan said...

I have seen God's grace at work in your dad's life firsthand. I have been blessed through this process, and have learned more about grace through this than I could ever have learned through reading about grace. A wise man once said "Don't tell me about your past. It's your future I am interested in..." Amazing grace, how sweet the sound....

Love you Gary, proud to be your friend,

Holly said...

Happy Birthday Gary! You are sure loved!!!! ;o)

redeemed diva said...

Hey Amy, Loved your thought processes. Don't you find that having kids have made you ask more questions about your own parents?

Roxanne said...

Happy Birthday Gary. I didn't realize that you and Rebekah share the same birthday. She just turned ten.
Once again, well written Amy.

Rhonda said...

Wonderful tribute to your Daddy on his special day. It's wonderful to see your Dad living a Godly example of a man whose heart is after the Father's own heart.

Blessings to Gary on his 60th birthday.

Tammy said...

Amy, what a wonderful tribute to you Dad. He is a wonderful, caring and loving man and you and your kids are blessed to have him as a Dad and a Grandpa!!!!
What ever life throws at us we can choose to become bitter are better. Your Dad chose to become better!!!!!
Blessings Tammy